"It's easier to carry you when you hold on!"

June HAD to wear THESE shoes. SHE NEEEEDED TO WEAR THEM! Her outfit wouldn't be complete without the shoes that grandma recently gave her that were two sizes too big. I thought, "Well, she will learn quickly that shoes NEED TO FIT in order to be comfortable." I did help a little by putting a few cotton balls in the toes, so she wasn't sloshing around in them the whole time at church. 

We happen to live right across the street from the church and walk every Sunday to our services. Literally in the middle of the road June said, "Oh man! These shoes ARE too big! Well it's too late now to turn back! I guess I will just have to wear them!" I giggled to myself because we were about 10 minutes early and could have easily turned around to get her shoes that did fit her, but thought instead to let her learn and suffer through it. (Man, I just realized, I am REALLY mean!)

It turned out she was a great sport and suffered in silence, until our short walk home. About three seconds out the doors of the church she said, "Mom, my ankles are really red, they hurt, I AM NOT WEARING THESE SHOES until they fit." I gave in a picked her up. She is about to turn eight in a couple of weeks. She is small but still an awkward size to carry. She couldn't hook her legs around me because of her dress. I was carrying her like a queen and all that was holding her to me, were my arms around her. She started to lean back, and I had to lean back a little to maintain the balance. She was watching others file out of the church as I was holding her like a damsel in distress. I finally said as I was crossing the snow packed street, "June, you've got to hold on to me. It's harder to carry you if you're not holding on."

As she slipped her arms around my neck it was instantly easier to hold onto one of the most precious things I have in my life. My mind started going a million miles an hour with the words I had just said, "It's harder to carry you if you're not holding on." I thought about the Savior carrying me though my life, and how much easier it would be for Him, if I would hold on tightly.
My mind remembered the beautiful poem "footprints in the sand."

Footprints in the Sand

by Mary Stevenson

One night I had a dream.

I dreamed I was walking along the beach

with the Lord..

Across the sky flashed scenes from my life..

For each scene, I noticed two sets of

footprints in the sand,

one belonging to me, and the other to the Lord..

When the last scene of my life flashed before me,

I looked back at the footprints in the sand.

I noticed that many times along the path of my life

there was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest

and saddest times in my life.

This really bothered me 

and I questioned the Lord about it:

"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,

you'd walk with me all the way.

But I have noticed that during the most 

troublesome times in my life 

there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why 

when I need you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied:

"My precious child, I love you and would

never leave you.

During your times of trial and suffering,

when you see only one set of footprints, it was then

that I carried you." 

------------

I couldn't help but think of Christ saying something to me like what I said to June.
"It's easier to carry you when you hold onto me." 

I know the Lord has carried me through many times of my life. Even when I wasn't holding on as tightly as I should have. 

He carries us. He holds us. He asks us to hold onto Him, and trust Him. He knows the way because He IS the way. He will guide us, help us, and carry us. We just need to HOLD ONTO HIM.

Theres a beautiful song called "Hold On To Jesus" by Erin O'Donnell. It made me think of this and what I would want my children to know and do. Here are the lyrics...

You're a little piece of heaven

You're a golden ray of light

And I wish I could protect you

From the worries of this life

But if there's one thing I could tell you

It's no matter what you do

Hold to Jesus, He's holding onto you

The world will try to tell you

That might is more than right

And beauty's on the outside

And being good's a losing fight

But remember what I've told you

'cause the world will make you choose

Hold to Jesus, He's holding onto you

Hold on to Jesus, and cling to his love

Rest deep in his mercy, whenever things get rough

And don't recite of his goodness

And don't ever doubt this truth, that when you hold onto

Jesus He's holdin' onto you.

Hear me dear Jesus

Rock this little one to sleep

Keep her close when she's scared, and

Give her grace when she is weak

I know she'll stumble, but I know she'll make it through

If you hold onto her just like you said you do

Hold her Jesus so she'll hold on tight to you

------------

Here's my thought of the day. Hold on to Jesus. He's holding on to you as He carries you through the life you have. He is the only person who knows what you are going through. He knows you and He loves you more than you will ever know.

Are your hands cold?

Just the other day Connor was riding his bike. Nothing unusual, but the weather has turned quickly from summer to fall. It was a rather chilly morning. He bundled up with an extra jacket and pants instead of shorts (a huge feat for him, shorts are his life!). He went on a bike ride and then came quickly into the house where I was doing my hair and getting ready for the day. With helmet still on his head he simply said, "My hands are cooooold..." I held his hand to my cheek and felt his cool fingers. My warm face wasn't enough to penetrate deep into the tissue. I then rolled up his sleeves and put his hands in the sink. I turned the water on cold and slowly increased the temperature. Feeling came back into his fingers and hands, we dried them, hugged and he bounded off onto his next adventure. We both know that he will be wearing gloves next time he rides his bike. 

As this simple action kept coming to my mind, I thought about our activity level and enthusiasm in church callings and priorities. Are our hands getting cold without us even realizing they are getting cold? Are we becoming chilly in our callings? Are we doing all we can to help our families testimonies grow and burn with a desire to know more? Are we doing ALL we can to further the gospel and keep our own personal testimony burning?

Sometimes you hear people or missionaries and say, "WOW! They are on FIRE! I wish I could be like them!" Well, the simple truth is, YOU CAN!

Isaiah 50:11

Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled.

You can be on fire! You can live life sparking other's testimonies and spirits. 

We need to be careful in realizing when our hands are getting cold. We need to keep them warm with work and service. We need to keep our hands close to the fire of Christ, so we can warm others around us. 

Sometimes we think that warming our hands can be done only once, and they will magically keep warm though the whole winter. If I go to church once a month I can stay warm. If I read my scriptures once in a while I can still feel that fire. If I pray only when times are hard I will keep from frost bite. 

That's just not so. It takes time and continual effort to remain warm.

Be aware of the cold world around us. It creeps in through cracks and through thin walls. Stay warm. Keep your fire of faith going as you go through life!

"It was a bad day." "No, it was a good day."

Yesterday, June got into a bike crash scraping her elbow, and landing on her hip. She has a bruise on her hip that is sore and her elbow has some road rash all around.

Today while doing June's hair she said, "Mom, yesterday was a bad day, my elbow and hip still hurt."

I simply said, "No, yesterday wasn't a bad day, you had a bad moment, but we had a fun day. We went on a bike ride, we played at the park, we built a fort, played in the leaves, and played lots of games! That is not a bad day. Yes you were in a bike crash, but that doesn't mean the rest of the day was destined to be a horrible day. We still had fun after your bike crash, right?"

June said, "Yes, but it still hurts."

I said, "Yes, I understand, but just because it still hurts, doesn't mean that today will be a bad day."


Sometimes we think that when we sin or make a mistake, that it defines our whole lives, and we will never find happiness again. Even as life goes on and it still hurts, we can still find happiness. We can still have good times.

Why are there shadows?

"As you walk through life, always walk toward the light, and the shadows of life will fall behind you. "

-Thomas S. Monson

Just this morning we were driving to school. The sun was lower in the sky, and the trees still full of leaves. The trees were casting many shadows across the street. My 6 year old son said, "Mom, why are there so many shadows?!" I simply said, "Because there is light. There has to be light for there to be a shadow."

After I said that, I started to think. We live in a world that has light, yet we also have many obstacles in life that give us shadows. There has to be both. 2 Nephi 2:11 "For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things."

But we CHOOSE to see life in the shadows or life in light.

Our attitude about those large trees that block our view of the light can be hard to change. We will always have those trees, or trials. Big or small, giant red woods, or small saplings. 

I love the quote up above, "walk toward the light, and the shadows of life will fall behind you."

If we walk in the light of Christ, the harsh worldly shadows, or trials in our lives fade away.

I love the mountains and I love to walk through the forest on a sunny day. There is a large difference of feeling when you walk in the shadows of great pine trees and then walk in the brilliant light of the sun. The sunshine on your face and body gives you peace, comfort and warmth, while the shadows bring a cold and lonely sensation. 

1 Nephi 17:13 

And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.

Back to Connor's question. "Why are there so many shadows?" 

Simply, because when there is light in the world, there is also darkness.

We live in a beautiful time. We have the gospel here on the earth. We have the scriptures in our hands, we have spiritual enlightenment all around us if we seek it. We also live in perilous times. There is much darkness and bitterness in our world. Living amongst both of these opposites gives us a choice. Who are you? Are you one who lives in the shadows? Or are you one who chooses to live in the light?

We can choose if we want to live in the light of the Gospel, or in the darkness of the world around us.

Everyday is filled with hundreds of choices. And your choices make you, YOU. If you want to live in the light, step into the light. If you want to walk and dwell in your shadows, you choose that, no one chooses that for you. Only you can make those choices. 

There is an undeniable peace and comfort from living in the light. Reading your scriptures, praying daily, serving others, smiling, searching to help lift burdens of loved ones, asking for continued guidance in life and receiving those answers.  

One of my most favorite scriptures is 

D&C 50:24-25

24 That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.

25 And again, verily I say unto you, and I say it that you may know the truth, that you may chase darkness from among you;

Don't we all want to chase the darkness from us? Well the answer is simple. Live in the LIGHT and CONTINUE in the LIGHT! Live the truths you know and darkness will fall behind you! What a beautiful promise!

There will always be obstacles, trees, boulders, hills and mountains that come along our path. But while we chop down the trees, climb those mountains and struggle over the boulders we can keep our focus on the light. Keep your perspective bright. For nothing is impossible through Christ.

Luke 1:79

To give light to them that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace.

John 12:35

35. Walk while ye have the light, lest darkness come upon you; for he that walketh in darkness knoweth not whither he goeth.

36. While ye have light, believe in the light, that ye may be the children of light.

Ephesians 5:8

For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord; walk as children of light.

2 Corinthians 4:5-6

5. For we preach not ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord; and ourselves your servants for Jesus' sake.

6. For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.

Alma 5:7

Behold, he changed their hearts; yea, he awakened them out of a deep sleep, and they awoke unto God. Behold, they were in the midst of darkness; nevertheless, their souls were illuminated by the light of everlasting word;

John 1:4-5

4. In him was life; and the life was the light of men.

5. And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

John 8:12

Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

Church Callings - What I'm meant to do

When you receive a church calling that is some what out of the blue, sometimes you question.. "Really?..... Me?..... Are you sure?"

Think of church callings as the way the WORLD thinks of life callings! 

When you speak to someone not of our faith, and they say, "It's my calling." 

What do they mean?

They mean, it is something they were MEANT TO DO! A divine assurance is deeply settled into their hearts and mind that this is truly where they belong RIGHT NOW, and their life has a new sense of great meaning.

Church callings are inspired. They fill the need in whatever capacity to which you are called, and you gain understanding that you are meant to have that calling in this particular time in your life.

It is where your Heavenly Father will guide and direct you. He will teach you through your calling as you seek His help and guidance. He will also bless others THROUGH you. You may be in that calling to specifically help those around you more than help yourself. Look at your calling through the eyes of the Lord. Who needs your spirit? Who needs your help? Who needs YOU?

_________________________________________

The Nursery Leader who is acting guardian over those children who are so fresh from Heavenly Father Himself. True joy and perfect innocence resides in that sacred room.

 The Primary Teacher who is instilling the beautiful simple sacred truths that plant the first seeds of a testimony that will last their students' entire lives.

The Youth Leader who is guiding the future generation of the church. Helping, planning, worrying, loving and teaching those who are soon to be left to rely on their own personal testimonies.

The Relief Society who blesses and uplifts those of ages 18-118 on their long, exhausting journey in life. Reminding them they are not alone, and that together we serve, we encourage, we laugh, we cry and we LOVE.

Every Priesthood holder who lifts, moves, runs, pushes, pulls, works, and plays with their personal families, the families who they are steward over, and neighbors. They build, teach, and bless, along with holding the sacred responsibility that has been trusted upon them.

The Family History Specialists who are searching day and night for those who have gone before us. The deceased who are begging to learn, to be released, and to continue on their spiritual journeys.

The Music Leaders and Pianists who understand that music is a sacred and mesmerizing way to bring the spirit into any meeting. With the inspired lyrics, the scriptures associated with the hymns, and the peaceful notes that resinate in any soul. 

_________________________________________

Whatever your calling, because yes I know there are TONS MORE; seek to find what the Lord wants you to learn. Find the CALLING in your heart to fill that position with the desire to do what you are MEANT to do. 

Embrace it, enjoy it and love it!

Where are we? ..... Home.

About 15 minutes until church was to begin. Connor was squirming in the pew, past my reach, and being irreverent. He knows better. Connor is 5.5 years old and has attended church every week of those 5.5 years. 

 I took a deep breath bracing myself for a silent war with a five year old. Initiating silent reprimands...now. He was about four feet down the pew from me, and I gave him two good "mom glares" and I stiffly pointed to the empty space next to me. 

He gave me a mischievous side smile, and shook his head no. 

(I apologize for anyone spectating this scene, for they now hold obvious fear of ever crossing me, because my eyes could pierce any bystander's soul)  

I raised one eyebrow.....an honest/silent look of... "Excuse me????....No?" 

I resulted to my last silent, but most effective maneuver. 

I gave him a look out of the corner of my eye and brought by gaze to the front of the room, knowing I still held his attention. I gently placed my hand on my lap, and counted down using my fingers.... 3 fingers.... 2 fingers... 1 finger ...and he rushed next to me. 

I knew EXACTLY what he would do next. 

(He has used this tactic before. I have a great "mom war" memory)

He would sit down for 0.50 of a millisecond to appease my command, then go back down the pew to keep being disruptive where we would go through this whole scene again. 

(Only this time the glares I would give the next go round would have definitely have melted his insides.)

Knowing his sinister 5 year old plan which he has done before, I grabbed his small body the 0.25 of a millisecond onto the pew and hugged his body against mine. There was no escaping mom's death grip.

He squirmed and tugged against my arms for one second until he knew there was no escape. He calmed down and I fiercely whispered in his ear.

"Connor! You are not being reverent! Where are we?!"

"home."

Wait? What? My mind started swirling? He was supposed to say, "church" then I would go on with the conversation I had planned out in my mind..."yes... and how do we act in church?......"

But he didn't say that, he said, "home."

As my mind was in its stunned daze for three seconds, Connor said, "Mom, we are HOME, this is Jesus' house. We are His family. We. are. home."

There is no other word for the fact that I was beautifully shocked. 

Bless this sweet boy for listening to simple truths that you try to teach your children but you never think they soak in.

"Yes." I said, "We are home." 

He settled down, sat on my lap and wrapped his arms around my neck. I got instantly teary eyed before the meeting even started as I held one of God's children that has been entrusted to me while on earth.

Our church houses are one of the few places on earth we can feel a true sense of being HOME.

We need to constantly be seeking and striving to go "home" to our Heavenly Father.

We then sang for our opening hymn, one of my ALL TIME favorite hymns, "More Holiness Give Me." A line in that song says, "More longing for home." We need to be continually seeking HOME, and what we NEED TO DO to get back there.

No matter where we live, we can always find a sense of "home" in our church houses.  Our true divine heritage of belonging to our Savior should make us feel at "home." Our ward families, should give us a small sense of being "home." The scriptures, conference talks and prayers make us feel, at "home."

As you go through life, you might move many houses, or just a few, but those are merely houses, your true home is in Heaven. It's where we came from and it's where we will go when this time of testing and trial is finished.

I am so thankful my sweet boy taught me a beautiful principle that I was able to share during our testimony meeting today. 

We need to be longing for home and what we need to do to get back there. One thing we can do is go to church. Feel that peace and sense of belonging. This life is hard, but with the Savior at our side we can do it!

Some say, "I don't need to go to church, I never get anything out of it." or "I can study and learn more at my house than at church."

Wrong.

1. It's a COMMANDMENT

2. You learn what you seek. If you go with the attitude of "I won't get anything out of today", you won't learn a thing.

3. YOU BELONG THERE. Heavenly Father wants you there. It's His house. He wants you to feel welcome and wants you to make promises with Him there. 

4. It's a place where we can serve Him.

 When we go to church, we are home. We are with family and we are loved. It's a place of learning, praying, serving, understanding, and faith. We learn more together than we would ever learn by ourselves. When we go to church, we truly are going "home."

They LIVED....

June related a dream she had a few months ago to me and I wanted to share it! She loves telling me her dreams, good and bad.

She said she had a dream about two seals; one grey, and one pink, that loved each other.

They got separated.... but after yelling for each other they were reunited.

Then they had a fun wedding and got married.

She then said, "I'll just finish there because the rest was just them talking to each other and living their lives."

She then walked off to go get dressed, pleased with her dream.

I started thinking about the last thing she said, "I'll just finish there because the rest was just them talking to each other and living their lives."

That is EXACTLY what life is about. TALKING and LIVING your LIFE!
Your life isn't over after you are settled and happily married.
YOU LIVE LIFE TOGETHER!

I think many people think their lives need to be full of surprises, fun twists and excitement. But most full wonderful lives don't consist of daily surprises. If we always had surprises, they wouldn't be surprises anymore, they would turn into being normal.

I've been interviewed by one cousin and one niece while they were in college, asking what I thought were some of the most important qualities of a marriage.

The biggest thing I ALWAYS say is COMMUNICATION! One thing I learned quickly in our 9 years of marriage is that we are BOTH not mind readers!
If you have a problem big or small, SAY IT!

Lack of Communication in Marriage Example:

My poor husband would come home in our first years of marriage with me asking.... "notice anything different?"
He would look at me with panic in his eyes, knowing I wanted him to notice SOMETHING (big or small, that to me, was "IMPORTANT" and he needed to make a POSITIVE comment. I only wanted praise, no corrective opinions were welcome.) The poor man would start searching, though the house, looking EVERYWHERE for something I did differently. I would always be "put out" when he didn't notice my new hair TRIM, or a small picture I hung up in our living room. (Good heavens I was a pill!)

We talked about it one night when I was annoyed from his lack of sight, and after a good discussion, we both decided it would be best if I TOLD HIM what I wanted him to look at, and he would comment with appropriate praises. He could share his opinion with me on what I had accomplished and we could discuss them if we needed to. This way, he wouldn't come home to more stress after just returning from a stressful job. Good grief, we've come a long way, I'm so glad! Poor Josh. Thank you for sticking with me through that!

Women... most of our men have single tunneled vision. Give them a break and tell them what you have fixed, painted, or rearranged. They will gladly comment on it. And LET them comment on it, be braced for alternative options and decided together!

It's a WIN-WIN! You aren't grumbling about their lack of acknowledgment, and they aren't going crazy trying to please you when they clearly have NO IDEA what you have done.

I love this "Seal Dream" June had. She has a beautiful imagination and I'm glad she shared it with me. I spoke to her later telling her, that "talking and living your life" is a WONDERFUL thing, it isn't boring at all!

"Talking to each other and living your life" is a BEAUTIFUL way to say "day to day every things."

When we simply talk to each other we gain insight, understanding and love for one another. It happens in ALL relationships.

Talk together, cry together, laugh together and live a glorious life!

Climbing the Ladder - "I'm right here, keep going"

On Saturday evening my husband and I decided to clean out a "cellar" in our home that was located beneath our garage floor. The only access into this medium sized concrete room was through a square hole in the corner of our garage. There were no stairs; only a ladder could be lowered into the room to gain entry. We wondered why the builders of our home wanted a "bomb" shelter/ cellar/ storage area under their garage, but what not, it's ours to use now. So, we decided to sweep and clean it out to use as an extra storage room. Our two kids were very excited to see this underground room when we deemed the project done. To quicken the children's entry, my husband lowered our small children one by one down to me. As I set them onto the ground their eyes were filled with excitement to see what mom and dad had been doing for the past hour or so. They instantly started begging to use the space for a secret spy mission base. My husband and I gently refused their offer, by saying... "Sorry, but no." They were disappointed for two seconds, but got over it quickly. 

We noticed the hour and realized a while back daylight was fading. We still had one more project to finish as a family before the night was over, we needed to cut some wood. My husband urged our daughter to go up the ladder first so we could all follow her and get started on our last project. She was a little hesitant at first but with some gentle coaxing, and reassuring, she ascended the ladder. Our five year old son was not as easy to persuade to ascend the ladder. With the first shaky step he said, "I can't do this, it's scary." Even though he had been on small ladders before, this 8 foot ladder towered in front of our small child. My husband and I reassured him, "It's okay buddy, you can do this." He wen't up one step, "Mom are you there? Will you catch me? I'm scared." I quickly said, "Yes, Connor I am RIGHT HERE. I've got you." I placed my hand on his back for extra support. He slowly crept up another step and kept hesitating. I assured him again, "Keep going, I've got you, you're doing great!" Another foot up, "I'm still here.... keep going..." Three more steps to go.... "You've got it bud, I'm right here. He got nervous towards the top, my husband and I directed him where to put his hands and he emerged onto the garage floor. As I climbed up the ladder at a lightning fast pace compared to our son, I heard him say loudly in an exaggerating tone, "LAND! SWEET LAND!" As I climbed out I saw him pretending to kiss the garage floor. (I don't know where he gets his dramatic flair...) I giggled and sighed at my funny kids. After my husband emerged from the "cellar" we all reconvened and went out to start cutting wood.

Later, after everyone was cleaned from our dusty efforts of the evening and we tucked the kids in bed. As I climbed into bed my mind kept wandering to the two minutes of "ladder help" I gave to our children. I couldn't help but think this is EXACTLY how the Lord treats us on our earthly climb toward heaven. We are continually climbing through life and reaching certain steps along the way. 

Sometimes we shakily go through life, especially when trials come, we are afraid at what will change. Our whole perspective changes with each step. We look back at the past steps we have taken, and we glance up at the forward progression we have yet to accomplish. And still, there He is, touching our shoulder, saying, "It's okay, I'm right here." Sometimes our feet slip, sometimes we lose our grip, and sometimes we fall off the ladder completely. We are scared and taken back when something as sure as our own footing gets knocked off.  Or, we get crushed at the knowledge that we have to start all over again and go through the same steps that took us so long to tackle before. Yet, the Savior of our souls IS and ALWAYS will be there. He will be there to help us gain our footing, give us direction on where to place our hands and feet as we continue on life's upward slope. And for those who fall completely off the ladder, He is there to help you pick yourself up and start over. Motivating you with words of comfort, inspiration and love. He will continue to say, "It's okay.... I'm right here.... I've got you."

I can hear him say it now, "I've been where you are, I've been scared, I've been frightened, I've been so afraid that I didn't want to accomplish what I was sent here for. I have literally felt everything you are feeling right now. Please remember, I did all of this for you, and I'm here now to help you come back home."

Our Savior, Jesus Christ atoned for our sins, He made it possible to come back to Him. He will be there to help us correct our mistakes, and help us understand what we did wrong so we can have confidence as we continue to ascend through life. 

But we also need to understand WHEN TO ASK. We have to ASK for His help. My son asked, "Mom, are you there?" He asked for assistance and reassurance. It's the same with help from our Savior. The Savior himself said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) He is there, we just have to go to Him, ASK for His help when steps are shaky in life and He will fill us with strength and peace.

John 16:33

"These things I have spoken unto you, that IN ME ye might have PEACE. In the world ye shall have tribulation; but be of GOOD CHEER; I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD."

Joshua 1:5

"...I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee."

Psalm 34:17-19

"17. The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of their troubles.

18. The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of contrite spirit.

19. Many are the afflictions of the righteous; but the Lord delivereth him out of them ALL."

Ladders and life.... oh, my... I don't know what I would do without my Savior.