Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a staple at the Hansen house. If we don't have bread, peanut butter and jam in stock at all times, there is bound to be an uprising. I've been trying to teach my children how to be independent/self reliant in small things. They enjoy helping and holding small responsibilities. If lunch time is busy I will say, "I am busy right now can you make yourself a sandwich?' They then get excited and hurry to get their own ingredients. My little boy loves all things the color orange. He loves peanut butter and honey sandwiches best, but on occasion he loves "orange jam" aka apricot jelly/preserves simply because it's the color orange. My daughter June went through a phase of "grape jelly only" and now she has been on a raspberry kick for a few months.
About 2 months ago I was busy with something in the kitchen and Connor came saying the usual, "Mom, I'm hundry, tan you mate me a sanwich?
I said, "Get out the ingredients and I will make you a sandwich."
I started to finish up my chore then jumped at the sound of a large crash and turned around to see the fridge door open with Connor on a stool and our large jar of apricot jam broken in 20 pieces and glass scattered across the tile and hardwood floor. I was glad Connor was on the stool I instantly told him not to move as I cleaned up the mess. I was frustrated and asked him, "Why didn't you ask for help!? I would have gotten the jam for you. If you can't reach something, let me help!"
I cleaned up the mess, we had a talk, we hugged, and life went on without 'orange' jam for a while.
Today for lunch before church June asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Connor wanted ramen noodles. I said I would start Connor's noodles and June can make her own sandwich. She has made her own sandwich for a couple months here and there and I was confident she could do it on her own again.
I grabbed a pan and started to fill it with water and then jumped to a crash of the jam jar covering the floor with sticky red jam and glass. I looked over at June's shocked face and instantly was angry and sad. I raised my voice, feeling a sense of dejavu, and said, "June! What happened?! If you couldn't reach the jar why didn't you just ask?!" I took a few deep breaths then felt the sting of tears. I started to cry as I looked at the glass and jam all over the floor. June started to cry as she saw me cry. She kept saying through her tears, "Mom, I am SO SORRY! I am so so so sorry..."
I didn't say anything as I grabbed our small trash can and the paper towels. Through my tears and frustration I had a fleeting thought as I was on my hands and knees cleaning up the jam and glass with paper towel after paper towel, that I was like the Savior and June was like me.
I had made a mistake. I was confident at the time that I could do something on my own, but I was very wrong. I broke something and had to rely on my older brother Jesus to help me clean up my mess. I could see myself crying at His face when He would ask as tears stained His cheeks, "Why didn't you just ask for help?! I was right here and could have prevented all of this from happening if you would have just asked." I could see Him on His hands and knees cleaning up my scarlet jam sins with His pure white clean paper towels, being scratched and cut with the shards of my glass. I watched as He worked and toiled to clean up my mistake. I could feel the pain and frustration He would have as He cleaned up the mess I had made. And yet, when the mess was cleared and the anger gone, the unconditional love was still there and always would be. And just as I put June into my arms and embraced her after the mess was cleared, I could visualize the Savior doing that same thing to me.
"..I beseech of you..that you would repent, and come with full purpose of heart, and cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you.. his arm of mercy is extended toward you.." Jacob 6:5
"For he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him." 1 Nephi 10:18
"..though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." Isaiah 1:18
No comments:
Post a Comment