June came home from school crying. She is very much a fun dramatic girl but has never been so upset to the point of crying after she had a rough day.
Previously, she prayed and even woke up multiple times the night before to make sure her fingers were still crossed in her sleep to give her the added luck she needed to land the 3rd grade part of Mrs. Clause for their school Christmas program.
On her own she memorized ALL of the lines for the part of Mrs. Clause (and everyone else's) just in case. Well, one, she didn't get the part. Two, apparently no one sat by her on the bus, and three her first ever piano recital was TONIGHT and she had been practicing so hard that she had been messing up every time she played her memorized piece.
(As a mom I was secretly glad she didn't get the part of Mrs. Clause. June is gifted and has been naturally in the spotlight a few times. It was time to learn tot share the spotlight and to be a good sport.)
I had tried to mentally prepare her by telling her that if she didn't get it, she needed to be excited for the other person and have confidence in her abilities. She still went to school with VERY HIGH hopes.
So, I did what every mom does with a bawling baby. I grabbed a blanket, wrapped her in it, let her cry and tell me all about her "no good very bad day."
I am also a girl, a girl who understands that crying can be a very therapeutic emotional release. June's emotional water balloon pressure was at its fullest and the bus ride home was the prick that popped the balloon.
It's okay to cry! You need to let it out, then pick yourself up and make the day better. Put on your armor again and get back in the fight.
We had a great little talk, but her temper was still high. Everything anyone said, especially her darling younger brother made her flair up. Then she needed to practice her piano because her piano recital was in a couple of hours! We kept telling her to do her best and to RELAX.
Tensions were high and she kept messing up on her piano piece. Connor simply told June, "Sit up straight June." (He doesn't play the piano)
THAT WAS WHEN THE VOLCANO BLEW IT'S TOP.
The water was spent, so the fiery darts ERUPTED.
As a (what I consider a normal) mom, in the heat of the moment, I simply raised my voice a few notches on the volume dial and very clearly said,
"THAT'S ENOUGH!"
(I was adding more patience to my usual fill line due to her bad day, but her bad attitude had gone far enough.)
June got up from the piano and marched over to the kitchen island and was preparing to rant into her brother who was eating an after school snack. But before she got two words our of her mouth, I said again, "That's enough!" She was angry and started to tell me that Connor had no say in what she should or shouldn't do in piano. (I understood, he shouldn't have corrected her, but this blow up was worse than a brother pushing a button in a wrong day.)
June was speaking in her "Sassy Rude" voice, not her "Sassy Fun" voice, there is definitely a difference.
As she was angry with her brother for a few sentences, I had PERFECT phrase come to my mind, it popped out like a word burp...
"FLUSH IT!"
I didn't realize I said it, but as the shock set in on the three of us, I realized the GENIUS of the words I had just blurted! I then looked at this still frustrated almost 9 year old and said, "Yes, I need you to go into the bathroom, grab your angry face, your mean bad thoughts and go flush them down the toilet!"
She looked at me in shock, and still wanting to be angry, but giggled in her puff of frustration. I then repeated myself as I grabbed her hand and walked with her to the RESTroom.
(This must be why it's called the REST room. You throw your troubles down the drain and come out clean and renewed.)
June started giggling as I told her what she needed to do as she stood near the toilet.
"Go ahead... pull our all the bad and FLUSH IT!"
(I wiped my face with my hands and acted light I threw it into the toilet bowl,)
She faked it then tried to storm past me.
I caught her and said, "Nope! You must not have gotten all the bad feelings out! Try again. Only I'm going to close the door and leave you to it. Please wash your hands when you are finished, because bad thoughts can be very sticky and I don't want them to follow you out! Please come out of the bathroom with a smile and a changed attitude because you're better than this. I know it, and you know it."
I then smiled and repeated as I closed the door, "Don't forget to wash your hands after flushing!"
She giggled against her will and I gently shut the door.
Then the MIRACLE happened! IT WORKED! She came our happier! Not like a whole new human, but a more calmer and collected little girl.
I am naturally slightly crazy and love to change anger into happiness with silly things for my kids. Often times it doesn't work, but other times it DOES! And when it does, I REJOICE!
I kept thinking about the two words I blurted out, "flush it." I wanted June not only to flush her bad attitude and negative feelings towards her brother, but also to flush the feeling of "not good enough," "failure," "heartache," "feeling bad for yourself," "worthlessness," "anger," and "hate."
Those feelings need to be FLUSHED! Because YOU ARE WORTH IT! YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! Some things might not go your way, (MOST things in life won't go your way) but that doesn't mean you have failed. You simply need to keep trying and keep going!
On days when the world is filling your emotional water balloon with a FIRE HOSE, I believe we all need to go to the RESTroom, cry, pray and flush out the bad. Pick OURSELVES up, because no one can change your attitude expect YOU, and wash your hands! Negativity can be sticky and your attitude affects those around us. Then come out of the RESTroom renewed and refreshed.
(FYI - June played her recital piece FLAWLESSLY and to PERFECTION! No one beamed more than her! I was a VERY close second.)
