Brothers who erase our mistakes

Today my 4 year old son and I were playing down stairs and I quickly stopped when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I spotted something on the side of our brick fireplace that is usually unseen unless at the right angle. I see " JUNE     CONNOR     HANSEN " written in chalk on three bricks all in a row. 

We had just had a BIG lesson learned 2 weeks ago when we found that June had been writing on her walls in her room and closet. She had to clean her walls and understand that we DON'T WRITE ON ANYTHING but PAPER! For heaven sakes, she's 6 and learned this when she was 2! I don't know what's gotten into her recently! Being in school this past year she has learned to write more and more and obviously can't contain her excitement long enough to grab a piece of paper. (sigh...)

I looked at the brick and asked Connor (who can't write), what happened here?

He said softly with his head down, "June wote our names on the wall."

At that moment, my phone started to ding upstairs. I turned and started walking up the stairs and I said aloud, "somebody's in trouble." I grabbed my phone and came back down to June's crime scene.

As I walked down the steps, I looked at Connor who was still looking at the brick, but instead of the frown I left, was a bright smile. I turned the corner and looked at the scene. He had quickly wiped as much of the chalk off the brick as he could, erasing most of the the evidence that convicted his sister. The mistake was still visible but 80% of the error was corrected.

I was overcome as tears started to fill my eyes. What a sweet brother helping his sister erase her mistakes. 

My mind was taken in thought of my older brother Jesus, who has helped me erase many of my mistakes. I have gone to Him for help, guidance and added strength in hard times. He doesn't judge me; He teaches me, heals me, and lifts me up. There will always be a small mark left behind from past mistakes. They are a reminder of how merciful He is, and an admonition to try to never make that mistake again.

He has ALWAYS been there for me, to help me dig myself out of the hole I've made. 

He has helped heal my heart, feed my soul and erase my mistakes with His grace. 

Countless times I have fallen to my knees, begging for added strength; and innumerable times, He has blessed me with the help I needed to go on. 

Thank you for being my older brother. Thank you for your sacrifice for me, and all of our brothers and sisters. Thank you is not enough, I can never repay you for all you've blessed me with and the many mistakes you have helped erase over the years. I pray I can be more like you every day and help others find your light. 

Keep Him in your pocket

This past year our 3 year old boy has been given different patches at different events he has attended with dad. He went to father & sons campout and received a patch. He went to an honors night and received 2 more patches. He LOVES his patches! One patch in particular he loves the most. It's a patch that was given just to my husband's scout troop because they were the only ones at this particular camp that passed off "a scout is reverent." The patch they received simply said, "WWJD What Would Jesus Do?" Connor thought this patch was the coolest. He can't read yet but he knew this one of all patches was the coolest! 

The day after he was given this patch, he was readying himself for preschool. He said, "Mom, tan I tate my patch to school?!" I thought for a second, knowing it would NOT make it back, I said, "Let's leave it here so we don't lose it." Connor got sad, and my husband said, "How about he keeps it in his pocket? It won't fall out of this velcro pocket."

I said, ok... knowing for sure the patch would be forever lost; and my husband would have to be the one to go find him another patch, because life as we know it through Connor's eyes would cease to exist without this patch!

Well... to my surprise, the second Connor got home from school, Connor stepped into the kitchen and opened his pocket and took out his patch to show me he hadn't lost it.

I watched him place it ever so carefully back in his pocket and then run of to go play in the house.

I couldn't help but think of my kid's favorite primary song we sing daily right now. 

"If the Savior stood beside me, would I do the things I do..."

If the children are ever arguing over anything, particularly over lunch I start to sing that song. They immediately join in and whatever the fight was about disappears! It's seriously MAGIC! No, I know better, it's not magic, it's the spirit. When the spirit is invited into the home through words and songs, the atmosphere is turned from negative to positive, and anxious to peaceful.

When we act and do things with the constant reminder in our pocket of "What Would Jesus Do" we behave very differently. Simply asking ourselves throughout the day, "if the Savior was beside me, would I act the way I act? Would I say the things I say? Think the things I'm thinking? etc." We invite the spirit into our hearts and homes to brighten the world. Give kindness instead of judgement, help instead of pity, and love instead of hate.

Remind yourself that the Savior IS always watching you, and keep His reminder patch in your pocket to try to be kinder every day. Be kinder to those you come in contact with, and those who notice you without knowing you. 

Broken Jars of Jam

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are a staple at the Hansen house. If we don't have bread, peanut butter and jam in stock at all times, there is bound to be an uprising. I've been trying to teach my children how to be independent/self reliant in small things. They enjoy helping and holding small responsibilities. If lunch time is busy I will say, "I am busy right now can you make yourself a sandwich?' They then get excited and hurry to get their own ingredients. My little boy loves all things the color orange. He loves peanut butter and honey sandwiches best, but on occasion he loves "orange jam" aka apricot jelly/preserves simply because it's the color orange. My daughter June went through a phase of "grape jelly only" and now she has been on a raspberry kick for a few months. 

About 2 months ago I was busy with something in the kitchen and Connor came saying the usual, "Mom, I'm hundry, tan you mate me a sanwich? 

I said, "Get out the ingredients and I will make you a sandwich." 

I started to finish up my chore then jumped at the sound of a large crash and turned around to see the fridge door open with Connor on a stool and our large jar of apricot jam broken in 20 pieces and glass scattered across the tile and hardwood floor. I was glad Connor was on the stool I instantly told him not to move as I cleaned up the mess. I was frustrated and asked him, "Why didn't you ask for help!? I would have gotten the jam for you. If you can't reach something, let me help!"

I cleaned up the mess, we had a talk, we hugged, and life went on without 'orange' jam for a while.

Today for lunch before church June asked for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Connor wanted ramen noodles. I said I would start Connor's noodles and June can make her own sandwich. She has made her own sandwich for a couple months here and there and I was confident she could do it on her own again. 

I grabbed a pan and started to fill it with water and then jumped to a crash of the jam jar covering the floor with sticky red jam and glass. I looked over at June's shocked face and instantly was angry and sad. I raised my voice, feeling a sense of dejavu, and said, "June! What happened?! If you couldn't reach the jar why didn't you just ask?!" I took a few deep breaths then felt the sting of tears. I started to cry as I looked at the glass and jam all over the floor. June started to cry as she saw me cry. She kept saying through her tears, "Mom, I am SO SORRY! I am so so so sorry..." 

I didn't say anything as I grabbed our small trash can and the paper towels. Through my tears and frustration I had a fleeting thought as I was on my hands and knees cleaning up the jam and glass with paper towel after paper towel, that I was like the Savior and June was like me. 

I had made a mistake. I was confident at the time that I could do something on my own, but I was very wrong. I broke something and had to rely on my older brother Jesus to help me clean up my mess. I could see myself crying at His face when He would ask as tears stained His cheeks, "Why didn't you just ask for help?! I was right here and could have prevented all of this from happening if you would have just asked." I could see Him on His hands and knees cleaning up my scarlet jam sins with His pure white clean paper towels, being scratched and cut with the shards of my glass. I watched as He worked and toiled to clean up my mistake. I could feel the pain and frustration He would have as He cleaned up the mess I had made. And yet, when the mess was cleared and the anger gone, the unconditional love was still there and always would be. And just as I put June into my arms and embraced her after the mess was cleared, I could visualize the Savior doing that same thing to me.

"..I beseech of you..that you would repent, and come with full purpose of heart, and cleave unto God as he cleaveth unto you.. his arm of mercy is extended toward you.." Jacob 6:5

"For he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; and the way is prepared for all men from the foundation of the world, if it so be that they repent and come unto him." 1 Nephi 10:18

"..though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow." Isaiah 1:18

"E.T. Shoes"

I HAVE to write this down before it fades!

June's 2nd day of school. She came home and started eating her snack. She still isn't telling me much about school. It seriously is too much for her to process. She honestly can't go back and think about her day and pick just one thing at a time to talk about. haha. She's having too much fun! 

I finally get out of her that they did stations today, then a light bulb turns on and she yells, as if the thought will leave her immediately, "MOM! I HAVE TO TAKE E.T. SHEOS!" 

I said, "E.T. shoes?"

June: Yes, mom! E.T. shoes!

I was instantly confused because we recently wanted the movie E.T. with the kids and thought that Halloween wasn't until next month.

I then said, "June, why do you need E.T. shoes?"

June: "for school mom."

Me: "June why in the world would you need alien shoes at school." 

(My mind is going wild with how in the world I can make weird brown alien shoes that look like E.T.'s feet!)

June then says out of frustration, "NO MOM, not E.T. shoes like the movie "ouch.." I need school E.T shoes to run around in!" 

BAHA HA HA HA!

My lightbulb then clicks on. I giggle and say, "June, it's P.E. shoes. Not E.T. shoes."

She then giggles and says, "Oh! I thought it was E.T. shoes!" 

We both laugh together and at how I thought she meant the alien E.T. and she meant P.E. running shoes.

What a delightful memory. It will be hard for me to call Physical Education class P.E. I want to call it E.T. now!

Rock Collecting

June has recently gotten into rock collecting. She LOVES looking and studying each rock with particular interest in their uniqueness and differences. 

This summer she has been collecting rocks from our own yard and others we visit. She has been bringing home about 1-3 rocks a day. She then begs me, (for some reason right in the middle of making dinner) to come outside and see her rock collection. Since she can't remember which ones are new, when she gets me out there we have to look at each one all over again. 

Well last week was her first full week of school. She had been bringing home 1-3 rocks a day she finds at recess, but on Thursday, she brought home 19 rocks! She was so excited!

 (My eyes became enormous and I thought, "Man, by the time you are in 5th grade, we're going to have to buy the school all new gravel!")

I simply said, "June, these are lovely rocks, but the school will run out if you bring home this many everyday. Can you be VERY choosey and only pick 1 perfect rock a day?" 

She heaved a sigh of relief and said, "Oh good idea! My backpack is really heavy!"

As she sat on the stool at our counter top she wanted to show me everything she liked about every rock. Her eyes lit up and she radiated happiness! She grabbed what I thought was a normal grey rock and said, "I like this one because it's round and has little holes in it." 

She picked up another rock oozing with happiness and said, "I like this one because it's black and is like a triangle."

"I like this one because it's green and is smooth on this side."

"This one is pretty because the pink and black dots."

"This one sparkles in the sun! Mom, come see in the sun!"

She pulled me outside and we took the rock to a bright beam of sunlight shining through our trees and she said, "SEE!? Isn't it sparkly?!"

We ran back inside to look at all of her treasures. She bubbled with giddiness.

She continued to pick up each rock and describe to me how precious it was.

"I like this one because it feels fun."

"I like this one because it's shaped like a moon."

"I like this one because it's SO... pretty and white!"

(and she went on... and on... and on.)

It was such a sweet and tender 20 minutes with my little girl. She was looking at what I saw as ordinary playground rocks, when she saw jewels.

I couldn't help but think, this is EXACTLY what our Father in Heaven does with us. To us we may all seem ordinary with slight differences. Some are clearly different and stand out amongst the crowd, but all still are very similar. 

To God, we are all VERY unique and different. Some sparkle in the sun. Some have different colors, shapes and textures. Some have been broken, and show inside the rock's hidden treasures of shiny patches of granite. To the untrained eye, they may look normal and plain, but to Him, each is perfect and hold beauty, shape, and love. He is giddy when talking about each child and their differences. He wants to show everyone how each individual is different, and beautiful the way He made them. He rejoices in the differences between His rocks. 

I pray that when we look at those around us we don't see them as ordinary rocks, but as beautiful gems the Lord has put on this earth to make the world a glorious place.

My challenge to you, look for the beauty in all the rocks around you. It takes a humble eye to see the true beauty in the hardest rocks.

1 Samuel 16:7
"...for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart."

Why do I go to church?

I was recently asked to accompany the sister missionaries in our ward to a lesson. They said their investigator was having trouble understanding why it's so important to go to church every week. They asked me to share some thoughts about why and what keeps me going to church. 

I had a morning to reflect and gather my thoughts together. 

"Why do I go to church?"

"Well, 1. It's a commandment,

And 2......it gives me strength. (Period)"

People complain about 3 hours of church, but for me, I need EVERY SECOND! Weeks are long and hard. Between craziness of family, work and friends, trials and hard times fall on everyone. Those 3 hours are crucial to stay on top of Satan. He tries to bring us down and make us feel like it's not important to go to church. I recently saw a quote that I love, 

"Satan tries to limit our praying because he knows our praying will limit him." 

It's the same with church. It builds me up and makes me stronger. 

I get spiritual armor that helps me withstand the constant blows of the adversary and harsh world. I am renewed and built up on Sunday's. I feel loved by those around me. I feel stronger knowing those in my neighborhood and community are trying just as hard as I am to get through life. We all come to church to make ourselves better and to gain strength from each other. 

We come to worship our Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. We renew our covenants to always remember Him in all we do and say. 

Church also teaches our children about the scriptures, and how to live life! My children are taught how to be reverent, how to have fun, sing, and pray. Children will not know how to act if they go to church every once in a while. They have to be trained and taught how to behave in a church setting constantly and consistently. School teachers can see the difference between children who attend church regularly and who don't. Children who attend church can sit still and be quiet during lessons.

Why do I go to church?
 For me, for my family, and for my armor.
I need church to help me fight everyday against Satan. We live in a battlefield. We fight everyday to choose right over wrong. The gospel of Jesus Christ builds you up, it gives you the tools, metal and instructions to build your armor. It teaches you how to defend your homes, your family and your spirit.

Going to church is not easy, but it is DEFINITELY WORTH IT!

Famous vs Greatness

Today we had an amazing RS lesson on True Greatness. 

What is the difference between greatness and famous.

It seems like most famous people are not "great" people. Do they hold traits that we desire for ourselves to have? Does money and wealth measure true greatness? 

I want to know what happened. 

In the 50's the top 5 "greatest people" were Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, Helen Keller, Queen Elizabeth, and Albert Schweitzer.

I decided to search"great people today" and some of the first things that pop up are "top 10 greatest business leaders," "Famous people of today," "Find out what famous person shares your birthday!" 

I have always believed that everyone is great in their own way. Everyone has a choice to make in what way they want to be "great." They can choose to be a great wife, a great mom, husband, businessman, teacher, sailor, pilot, street sweeper etc. Whatever you want to excel in you will if you put your mind to it.

I think of everyone who has had "great influence" in my life, not one of them is worldly famous.

When you have people who stand up for what they believe like honesty, love, and God; they chose to be great. When you have people fighting for our country in small and big ways, they choose to be great. When the woman down the road holds a preschool to shape the young lives of children today; she has chosen to be great. When a husband or father doesn't complain about his tiring job; he has chosen to be great. When a mom cleans the house as fast as she can, just to sit down to read to her children, she has chosen to be great.

Greatness is kindness, love, service, generosity, selflessness, humility and more.

I've been thinking about how I can teach our children how to be "great?"

I think that simply teaching them how to pray to the greatest thing that exists to all of mankind is considered "great." They humbly kneel to offer up praise to such a supreme being they can't physically and spiritually live without is the best lesson we can teach our children. Give thanks for what He has generously provided us and to gently ask for things we need, not want.

"By small and simple things are great things brought to pass."
Simple prayers humbly whispered to our Heavenly Father opens a line of communication and help no one on earth can describe.

Another way to teach our children how to be "great" is by serving our fellow men. The unnoticed acts of love and service provided by a humble friend. To the world they may not be "great," but to the recipient of the service they received, they are the "greatest!"

"To the world you may just be one person, but to one person you may be the world."

In the world "greatness" is construed by social media, books, and more. Keep your eye on the glory of God. He is the true judge of greatness. "Remember the worth of souls is GREAT in the sight of God." Never think for one second that you aren't "great" just because your name or face isn't on TV or the radio. Choose to be great in your family and your community. Greatness is measured by the lives you touch for good. Who's life can you change for the better?
No one is like you. You have a mind set unlike anyone else. God made who you are for a reason. You were meant to find, help and aid those around you. Who you are, is truly great.

(I want to be fearless, fun, happy and loving like my little superhero)

There are no small miracles

I've come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as a small miracle. 

On Tuesday around 5:30pm our 5 year old June and 3 year old Connor were playing around after dinner while I washed the dishes. All of a sudden I heard June scream, Connor came out of the master bedroom saying very calmly, "Mom, June hurt herself." The next thing I heard was a blood curdling scream not like her usual timid yell for me when she falls down and bumps her arm. I raced back to the bedroom and saw June on her hands and knees as blood was dripping from her head and pooling on the floor. She said in panic, "MOM! WHERE IS IT BLEEDING?!" She didn't know what she had hit. I turned her over quickly and saw a HORRIBLE gash on her head. I instantly thought "Stitches!"

I ran into the master bath and grabbed bath tissue to help wipe off some blood from her face. I pinched her head and told her to walk with me into the kitchen where my phone was, she started panicking and hyperventilating saying she couldn't breathe and she tasted blood. I tried to calm her as I kept pinched her gash together to try to slow the bleeding. I went from a nervous 7 to a 20 with her saying she couldn't breathe. Did she hit her neck? Was she bleeding inside her throat? Why is she tasting blood? I grabbed my phone and tried to call my husband who was in a meeting. No answer. She was struggling to breathe so I did what I had to, called 911. They answered quickly and I told them the situation and they called an ambulance to come. 

I laid her down on the floor by the front door. They came in the door 5 minutes later. Thank heaven we live in the small town I grew up in and I knew 4 of the 5 people who walked through the door. It was a HUGE blessing to be able to tell June that I knew all of these men and they were VERY nice. June even knew one of the volunteer EMT's, her little friend Wyatt's dad. He could only be there for a few minutes, but it was a HUGE blessing that she could recognize a face in the middle of all the unknown men.

The thing that breaks your heart most about such a traumatic experience is the pure fear in your child's eyes. Thank heaven by the time the EMT's walked in the door my husband called back and I told him to rush home. Another sweet blessing is that we just happen to live across the street from my parents. They had just arrived home from a small trip so I called my dad to come get Connor while we take June to the hospital. He was able to be over in 1 minute while they assessed June. One of the EMT's mentioned to me while checking June said, "Good job mom for getting this to stop bleeding before we got here." It was nice to know I provided a tiny bit of help. My husband then arrived to  silent stress and a fear stricken wife and daughter. Bless his soul, he knows what do under pressure. He was a combat medic and certified EMT for 5 years while we were in the Air Force so it helped having him arrive so quickly. He knew his way around an emergency situation and ambulance and could help. We pulled out of the drive way and I saw my dad standing in his doorway just in shock that his sweet 5 year old granddaughter was being taken in an ambulance on a stretcher. I waved quickly as I kept up with the ambulance. Josh rode in the ambulance with June as I drove the car RIGHT behind them. I didn't want that vehicle out of my sight. It held two of my most precious possessions, one of which was hurt. We made it to the hospital in 3 minutes, yet another blessing that we live in a small town and everything is close and there is NEVER any traffic. 

I pulled into a parking place and ran out of the car waiting for them to bring my sweet child out. I was thankful Josh was inside with her so she wouldn't be to scared.

They got her out of the ambulance and into the ER quickly.

No other patients were in the ER so the doctor and nurses could help her immediately. They were all very nice and helpful. One nurse gave her a new stuffed animal within the first 2 minutes of her arrival. I've never seen a child grab a stuffed animal so gratefully, and put it under their arm and hold it so tight, in a quick fluid motion. She was SO thankful to have something to hold other than mom's hand. Mom's hand got in the way of the doctor and nurses taking vitals, the stuffed moose didn't. June loves to come up with names for her toys. I asked her what she wanted to name it and she said, "Moosey Moo." ha ha.

We got her checked in quickly and doctors said she needed a cat scan to be sure she didn't break any cheek bones or bones behind her eye. It was a very hard hit and they needed to be sure there wasn't any brain damage. I HATED looking at that deep gash, I wished they could have just sewn it right up before she had her tests done.

About 20 minutes into being there our Bishop showed up to see how we were. He and Josh gave June a small sweet blessing. It was so nice of him to stop by to be sure she was alright, and if Josh and I were ok. Two minutes after he left, my sister Candace showed up. It was so nice that June could see how many people were worried about her and came to her aid immediately. Candace called her husband (my brother in-law) - he's an optometrist, to come look at June's eye. My brother-in-law came 10 minutes later to check it out. Everything seemed good. He had explained that he was looking to be sure the bones behind her eye didn't pop. Those can break and small bone fragments can get into your blood stream and harm you terribly. June's eye was good, what a relief.

We went into the cat scan and Josh stayed with her telling her to remain very still. He talked with her perfectly kept her calm. What a good daddy. My good friend Mandy from High School was the on call technician. It was so nice to have a friend there. She hugged and asked me, "How in the world are you staying so calm?!" I sighed and thought, do I look calm? Because I am at my nerves end about to bawl! It kills me to see such fear, hurt and pain in my baby girl.

We took her back into the ER to wait for the results. They put numbing gel into her gash. We waited for it to work then she would get her stitches.
It felt like over an hour they finally came over and started to test around her gash to see if she felt anything. It looked like she was good and he grabbed the packet to start giving her stitches. The doctor threaded the needle and we held June down in case she jumped. She instantly screamed. She could feel EVERYTHING! OH NO! SHE WASN'T NUMB! Poor girl. We had to continue. After he finished the first stitch he put a lidocaine shot into her gash and around to hopefully ease the pain. Lidocaine shots HURT to she screamed more. He said she would need 5-6 stitches before but now that she was crying so hard he only gave her 3. In my mind I thought, this was a facial wound I wanted him to keep stitching, 3 more minutes of pain would be sure the scar was small and not big. But he stopped at 3. Grrrrr.....

When they were done I picked her up and held her close and rocked her back and forth to stop her crying. It also helps to stop crying when the nurse is gives you a sucker and tells you, you were so brave!

We got the results from her cat scan and it all looks good. We were told to keep a close watch on her. The doctor said it sometimes take 3-4 weeks for a brain injury to show up on a cat scan. If she throws up, think head injury. If she can't walk straight and can't remember things, think head injury. Bring her back if any of those things occur.
We were discharged and took off back home.

My parents went to the store with Connor and got June a balloon and flowers. She was very happy, but VERY TIRED. We thanked my parents and put the kids to bed. June slept with Josh and I so we could wake her up through the night to be sure she didn't become unconscious.
It was a long night.

We woke up to a tired sick girl. She started throwing up after breakfast. We tried to give her sips of water but that seemed to make it worse. Two minutes after she drank or ate something it came right back up. We made "camp" in the living room. June had every luxury a sick child would need. A couch, a TV, a bowl, blanket and a mom who kept getting her cold wash cloths for her head. We read lots of books and kept changing small ice packs for her swollen face. June continued to throw up all morning. She fell asleep at about 11. Josh and I said that after she woke up we would see if she continued to throw up we would take her to the doctor. We assumed she had a light concussion because of the throwing up, she was dizzy when she walked to the bathroom. But she wasn't light sensitive and no headache. We kept close watch on her for her 4 hour nap. She was exhausted from her injury, her long night of being constantly woken up and from throwing up all morning.

She woke up a new girl. She said she was thirsty so we gave her tiny sips of water. She held it down. Next she said she was hungry. I got her a little bit of rice and fed it to her practically one grain at a time. She held it down.

YAY! She started eating a little bit more and a little bit more. She asked if she could get up and play with Connor. She went downstairs a new girl! She was back. Aside from her bruised/swollen face she acted the same as she always had. She started talking faster and faster. She told Connor how amazing the hospital was, that she got to ride in a big truck, they gave her suckers and a toy. She said it was great! Ha ha ha. Her tune was very different yesterday!

We were so thankful we didn't have to go back to the doctor to check to see if her head injury worsened.
The next day I was thinking about the placement of her injury.
It was a miraculous blessing that it was in the exact place it was. Half an inch closer to her eye and she would have broken the bones behind her eye and her cheek bone. An inch to the other side and it would have hit her temple and would have been even worse.
Angels were truly watching over her. There are NO small miracles. I kept seeing such sweet small blessings as I reflected on the events of the previous day.
Everything went smoothly and exactly the way it was supposed to.

Our Father in heaven watched over our sweet girl and protected her from a serious injury this week. I know and understand that won't always be the case. Everything happens for a reason good and bad. I have faith that He will ALWAYS be there when we need Him. Through the good and through the bad I trust my life and experience on earth will be what I need to grow. Growing can be hard, our trials and tests will make us stronger and in the end we will have more faith and love than before.

There are no small miracles.

Trapped

Visiting with my sister at her home one day, my little boy wanted a snack. I said, "There are snacks in my purse in the car, you can go grab them and bring them inside." He has done this before and so I thought nothing of it. Standing visiting back and forth for a few minutes near the front door, I had a feeling to go check on him. He had only been gone for 4 minutes, but still I thought it was necessary. Other times he gets distracted and starting jumping on her rocks or playing in her dirt. Another time I went out there and he was pretending to drive the car. I got in the car and he had pushed so many buttons while it was off that my car sounded like it was having a panic attack! Music up high, windshield wipers on, air full blast, etc. But this small venture to the car was different. 

I walked to the car to find him crying and pushing on the door over and over. He had shut the door and couldn't get it open again. He had pulled the handle but the car door was still attached. I quickly opened the door and held him close. He was so relieved that I came to find him. I kept saying over and over, "I will always come find you. I promise." As he cried, buried is head in my shoulder and as I held him close, I kept repeating, "It's ok. I will ALWAYS come to find you. I promise." He said through his tearful exhausted voice, "I was in there all day! I was so scared!" 

I am thankful for the Holy Ghost in my life and direction he sends me. He helps me and protects me daily.

We have all been trapped in a situation where we feel there is no escape. Literally or spiritually. When we feel like all hope is lost there is someone who will ALWAYS come find us. Jesus Christ, our Savior and Shepard. He is there when no one else is. When we are trapped and the door we frantically try to open won't budge, He will always find us and rescue us.

I am sorry this happened to our little boy, but yet thankful for the guidance of spiritual promptings. I am also thankful to reflect on this occasion and liken it to our Savior. I know he is real and he will ALWAYS come to our rescue. 

I can see Him hold us and say, 

"I will always come find you, I promise."

The Mountain of the Lord

Today in Sunday School some wonderful comments were said that I just had to share. 

2 Nephi 12:3 

"And many people shall go and say, Come ye, and let us go up to the mountain of the Lord, to the house of the God of Jacob; and he will teach us of his ways, and we will walk in his paths; for out of Zion shall go forth the law, and the word of the Lord from Jerusalem."

I love that the temple is called the "Mountain of the Lord." 

The temple is where we receive instruction and He teaches us His ways and shows us how to walk in His paths.

The mountains are an amazing place. You literally feel closer to the Lord, amongst pure nature - the way He created it. All through the Bible and Book of Mormon prophets went to the mountains to gain knowledge and to converse with the Lord. Moses, the Brother of Jared, Nephi and many more. It's amazing that true prophets of the Lord went to the mountains to gain truth and be personally instructed by the Lord. It was the closest thing they had to a temple.

Mountains are a holy place. If you think of a mountain and a temple you can see and analyze many similarities between these two majestic places.

Peace - Serene - Pure

Tall and strong

The rivers and blessings flow down and out from it.

You can't look at a temple without looking up, just like a mountain - you always look UP.

A beacon to the world

Mountains and temples point to heaven

Places of learning

Beautiful

Etc.

I'm thankful for the opportunity I had to dwell and ponder on this verse of scripture today. To look at how the prophets of old spoke of a temple, and to compare it to a mountain. The similarities are amazing. The scriptures are wonderful and give me added insight into what I need personally. I love sharing small bits of what I learn in life and in church. It strengthens my testimony and builds me up! 

(A few of the Mountains of the Lord we have visited)

(Logan Utah Temple Summer 2015)

(Salt Lake Temple - 2008)

(Payson Utah Temple Open house - 2015)

(Jordan River Temple - 2008)

(Provo Utah Temple - 2016)

Eating life one bite at a time

This afternoon I was making about 100 small cookies for a big youth activity my husband was involved with. I decided to make the cookies during nap time. 

June loves to help me and just watch in the kitchen. It's always fun to have a little friend to cook with. 

When the cookies were done and nap time was over, I called both kids up to the kitchen to have their cookies. Connor immediately took his cookie and ate it whole. In one bite it was gone. I don't think he even tasted it. Then June took the cookie, ate a small bite and asked if she could save the rest for later.

I was shocked for a second at her request but then I said, yes. 

She later came up and ate the rest of her cookie and spoke of how good it was. Connor was mad at himself and asked for another cookie. The cookies were gone to the activity by then and a few tears were shed because he hadn't taken the time to "portion out" his cookie.

I found this little scenario interesting and likened it to life in general. 

Sometimes we want to take a million projects on all at once, and don't realize our growth in the process.

Life can be overwhelming in itself, but taken step by step can be beautiful and in this case, delicious.

I feel as a mother, I have to do a million things at once, groceries, laundry, preschool, church, cooking, dishes, playing with kids and more. It's a lot to swallow. 

I love the phrase, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

(My dad once told me that when he caught me in one of my long tangents of lists of 'to-do's')

Yes, there are day's where we will eat the whole cookie and just swallow without tasting it. But if we work on taking one bite at a time and portioning out our life, we will be able to taste the flavor and relish the sweet taste of the little things in life. 

Preschool day's and childhood in general are passing faster than I ever imagined. I know all too soon they will be gone forever. If I could portion out my chores and spend more time with what is REALLY important I will taste the sweetness and recognize the growth of body and spirit. 

Eating life one bite at a time. 

___________________________________________

This can also be likened to scripture study.

When we read 10 chapters of the scriptures all in one day, did we really taste them? Did we feel our spirits change? When we read the words of God, we need to study them, liken them to ourselves. Ponder and make a change in our lives to be better today than we were yesterday. 

Portioning out the scriptures and taking them one bite at a time, helps us grow and develop into the person our Father in Heaven wants us to be.

I love to read the scriptures and find a verse or two that really strike me. I write them down or type them up and keep them in a place I can see often. I re read them and try to apply them to myself. 

I'm thankful for the scriptures in my life and how they help me grow. They are truly delicious!

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Motherhood Memory #3

(My baby girl smiling at my smile)

You're Cinderella!

It was a busy morning of chores and errands.

I asked my daughter June (5) to take a towel and a toy downstairs. 

She said, "Mom, why do I have to put these away?!" (With a big sigh...)

I calmly (said with a sigh of my own), "June, who makes the food, cleans up the kitchen, cleans the house and does the laundry?"

June pointed to me- then I said, "So, can't I ask for help sometimes?"

She paused for a moment and said,

"You're Cinderella!" (Haha)

_________________________________

All mothers are Cinderella's! All women are Princesses, even if most days we don't feel like one. We are daughters of a King. Our Father in Heaven who is above all gives us our royal and divine heritage. 

Sometimes we forget that even princesses like Cinderella, do the laundry, wash the windows, cook, clean, sew, and much more. Just because most days we feel like a scullery maid doesn't mean we are one. We need to remember that we are all princesses, true daughters of a king. 

We are Cinderella!

Our Heavenly King is always watching us as we progress through "princess training." We have to prove that we are worthy of such a title. To prove ourselves I believe we have to earn it. Hard work, dedication, and an optimistic attitude of life will witness of our royal endeavor. I LOVE the new Cinderella movie that has the theme of "Have Courage and Be Kind." It truly echoes what a princess is, and what we should always strive to be. Having courage through life will help us have faith instead of fear. Remember, fear is the opposite of faith. When we are kind to those around us, they will enjoy our company and want to be with us more. Kindness turns simple traits into amazing characteristics. Helping others along our way blesses us more than those we aid. 

As princesses of the Most High we are expected to act as such. As princesses we need to have the best manners and etiquette around. Would princesses start rumors? Would princesses make rude comments, or make others feel bad about themselves? 

-No-

Princesses would go out of their way to help others. Show kindness and love to those who they associate with. And they would NEVER make anyone feel bad about themselves.

Be a true Cinderella. We all have to clean, cook, wash, mend, and scrub, but we can do it with a happy heart and a sweet tune to hum. Those around us will find our attitude of life contagious and we will bless those whom we associate with.

"This home is filled with endless love and laundry!" 

Play with me so I can fly!

Whenever I hear "Mom, play with me!" I am overwhelmed. There's so much to do around the house and seems like so little time. AND... It always seems like they ask for me to play with them in the middle of making dinner, or when I'm up to my knees in paint, or folding a mountain of laundry. Kids have bad timing. I am no where near the perfect mom, I don't think anyone can be given that title, but as long as you try, you're doing great. 

  I read a quote the other day that that gave me a little relief. "The very fact that you worry about being a good mom, means that you already are one."

I pray everyday to be a good mom. To be a little more patient and to be a good teacher. I look back at all the practical traits I use everyday that I was taught by my mother. She taught be how to cook, sew, paint, clean, she helped with reading, good manners, and so much more. Teaching your children as they grow is vital to their success in life. It's very intimidating, but not impossible. 

I went to a women's day off conference a couple years ago and one class was SOO full of knowledge it helped me so much! I go back to my notes I took often to remember the information she gave. The class gave me confidence that I can be a good mom.

One thing the teacher said was, "Parent's try to throw their kids a toy and expect them to play with it. The kids have never seen the toy and don't know how to play with it. When a parent is always on their phone or tablet, the child sees that, and wants to do the same. But when a parent takes the time to SHOW the child HOW to play with a toy, you open the unlimited possibilities of imagination and true 'play time'." I love that by taking time to play with your kids you show them how to play. It's obvious that you can't just dump blocks in front of a baby and expect them to build a castle. It's US, the parents who have to SHOW them the possibilities. 

I have learned that my kids love to spend time with mom. It's very flattering that every time I go to the restroom I will have an audience when I open the door. Or when I try to cook a meal, I have two harsh critics as my side telling me what to do, or even more often, "JUST LET ME DO IT!" I have many opportunities a day to either turn my kids away, or to teach them. When folding laundry, I can tell them to go play or I can ask for their help with the small hand towels. When cooking, I can tell them to go watch a movie, or I can explain what I'm doing and have them help stir. 

I feel better when I choose to have their help. I am NOT saying that is what I do every single time, but I try more and more to include my children in my every day tasks to help them learn. 

No one will ever master parenthood, but I do believe that if you are always trying to be a better parent today than yesterday, you have already succeeded. 

Motherhood Moment #2

(Play with Me so I can fly)

Playing airplane with my kids is one of our favorites, and it gives me a great leg and core workout! Win Win!

Reading

On of my most favorite things to do with my kids is to read to them. WE LOVE STORY TIME! There's really no time like story time. Sometimes we read in mom and dad's bed right when they wake up. Other times we read right before bed, and most times we read in the afternoon when there's nothing else to do. We love to giggle at the pictures and mom loves to make funny voices. 

I enjoy watching their imaginations spark and their curious minds work. I love teaching my kids simple manners and lessons like; Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. "Do we just walk into people's houses? No......" "Do we eat other people's food without asking? No....." "Do we break other people's things and not fix them? No....." Etc. 

Cuddling up with my children and cute books is one of my most favorite 'mommy and me' times.

We have too many favorites to count, I know they will change, but here's a list of our most read, "mom memorized" books.

The Rain Came Down

Harry and the Terrible Whatzit

The Popcorn Shop

The Little Mailman

Going on a Bear Hunt

Mother Goose Tales

How Do Dinosaurs say I Love You

A Bad case of Stripes

If you Give a Mouse a Cookie

The Day the Crayon's Quit

Green Eggs and Ham

You are My I Love You

Time for Bed

Click, Clack, Moo

If you Give a Moose a Muffin

(And 20 more I can't think of right now.)

I've started a continuous project. I realize that my kids are growing up too fast and I can't stop it. So I've decided to take pictures of my favorite "motherhood moments" I have with my kids. Yes they are staged, but a picture is worth a thousand words and a million memories. I want to remember our favorite things at all stages of their lives. I wish I would have started earlier, but better late than never. 

Motherhood Moment #1

"Story Time"

Following a prompting

I've been asked a few times for various reasons such as talks or lessons on the Holy Ghost; "When have you felt and heeded a prompting of the Holy Ghost?"

I have to be honest, I feel the spirit and follow His guidance daily. Most people chalk it up to, "just a thought" or "I had an idea," but I know that the Holy Ghost is the one who is directing my path. It's my choice to choose whether I follow His guidance and change my actions or choose a different route for my day. A couple occasions come to mind to describe my simple promptings that seem small at the moment but can EASILY turn into something big. One happened about 5 years ago and one happened today.

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We were living on an Air Force Base and the winters were long and hard. Our daughter was about 1 month old, and I felt like I had a handle on schedules with feeding and naps. (When you're a new mom it takes a while to get it figured out) I was getting cabin fever BAD.  I thought, "Just an outing to the grocery store would get me out of the small confines of base housing and do me some good." I bundled up June, prepared any extras I might need in my diaper bag and we hopped in the car for a small excursion. It had snowed all night but had stopped that morning. The roads seemed plowed and fine, but the air was BITTER cold and seemed frozen in place. As we drove 100 yards away from our home, I got the distinct impression to turn around. I had "thoughts" enter my head like, "the roads look slick up ahead, you don't NEED to go to the store, you can go another time." "Is your cabin fever really as bad as risking a car wreck with your new child?"

This was my moment.

I had always wanted DISTINCT spiritual experiences that I had chosen to follow the promptings of the spirit, but I felt like they never came. Most stories I had ever heard ended badly and the person relating the story WISHED they had listened to the spirit. Was I about to have a BAD spiritual prompting story if I didn't turn around? 

I didn't want to take that risk. I took this as a DIRECT prompting of the Holy Ghost and turned around. I unloaded my priceless precious cargo - our beautiful daughter, and held her tight in the safety of our home. I felt good about my decision. I didn't know what could have happened if I had stayed on the road 20 more feet or 2 more miles, but I was confident that I had felt the spirit and heeded the prompting to stay safe and not risk anything that could turn nothing into something.

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Today our daughter is 5 and our son in 3. My June and I like to make crafts while Connor takes his afternoon nap. I was cutting paper on my mom's large paper cutter. (The one that looks like a block with an attached knife on the side- you've seen the industrial type) I explained to June that this was VERY SHARP and to never touch it. It can cut off your finger and hurt you VERY BADLY. She is VERY good about taking directions and following them. 

Connor however was asleep while I gave this instruction. He's a little more curious, and presses buttons because they blink (Power buttons on computers while you're in the middle of typing an important document), and touches things because they are red (microwave buttons, phones and more).

The large paper cutter has been out, perfectly untouched by my sweet children, and of course perfectly at their level of use if wanted.  It has been out for 1 day and hasn't been touched. I had almost forgotten it was there. I had just put the kids to bed and started to tidy up their play room. (Note to self: I've gotta get better at making THEM pick up THEIR mess before bed)

As I finished tidying up their toys I glanced over and saw the large paper cutter untouched since the day before. A moment of thankfulness came to me because I remembered I hadn't told my curious 3 year old about the danger of the blade. I thought, "He didn't touch it, so I can just leave it there instead of walking all the way down the hallway and put it back in the storage room where it first resided." I had another thought.... "Don't test your luck, he might try it out tomorrow." 

This was my moment.

It may seem silly to most, comparing the Holy Ghost to such a simple thing as putting away a paper cutter, but to me, "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass." (Alma 37:6)

ANYTHING small can become big with no time to react. Something small like a "thought" to move the paper cutter away from small hands reach can keep my child's fingers attached to his hand. Small movement to keep from a big consequence.

A small 'thought' or a small prompting, can bring you great gratitude for your Father in Heaven.

Realizing that you have a greater being in by your side makes your decisions in life much more meaningful.

I'm thankful for the Holy Ghost in my life. I've learned to give Him the credit instead of leaning unto my own knowledge and understanding. He knows the outcome of any situation and he knows how to help me prevent disasters great or small and keep me and my family safe.

To learn more about the Holy Ghost and more testimonies about having spiritual direction in your life click the link below.

https://www.lds.org/?lang=eng

I love taking pictures. I took these on a frozen morning on the base we were stationed at. I LOVE frosted trees like this! It does't happen often, but when it does, it takes my breath away. Oh how beautiful the world that our Father in Heaven has made.

Can you see yourself in the temple?

A few months ago we went to the Payson Utah Temple open house. We left at 7 and got there for our tour at 8. It was BEAUTIFUL -Truly gorgeous! I can't wait to go back and see it all again. The celestial room was immaculate. They had crystals that matched the chandeliers dangling from the fringe on the bottom of the couches! The carpet was imprinted with designs. The sealing rooms were SCRUMPTIOUS! It was AMAZING to say the least.

It was such a sweet feeling/memory to walk through the rooms with our 2 small children in hand (4 & 2). As we were going through the celestial room, June and I moved to the side where we could "take it all in" and let the continuous motion of people move past us. I looked over and noticed a large mirror. I picked up June walked over with her in arm and said, "June, can you see yourself in the temple?" I gave her a kiss then kept walking. It didn't hit me until about 5 steps later to what I had just said. "Can you see yourself in the temple?" It was both literal and spiritual. I started to tear up as I continued to think about that simple phrase. "Can you see yourself in the temple?" I want to raise my children always seeing themselves in the temple, and always having that as their goal. When we were in a sealing room, we picked up both kids to see their reflection in the large mirrors that seem to go on for eternity. I then said again, to both of them this time, "Can you see yourself in the temple? We are an eternal family because of the temple."

They may not understand the significance the temple has had on our family, but it was such a sweet experience and such a special time we could spend as a family. We are eternally bound together forever because of the temple. I can't bear to imagine eternity without my family. I can't wait for more temple open houses so we can go again and say, "Can you see yourself in the temple?"

For more information about temples and how families can be together forever, click the link below!

https://www.lds.org/?lang=eng

HOLINESS TO THE LORD

What's a Testimony?

Yesterday was Fast and Testimony meeting.

My daughter June (5) was coloring a picture on the pew right next to me. The first sister finished her testimony and sat down.
June looked up at me and said, "Was that a prayer mom?"
I said, "No, honey that was a testimony."
June, "What's a testimony?"
I hadn't thought of the literal definition of a testimony in a long time. So I thought for a second, and said, "A testimony is when you share things you know are true."
June then asked, "How do you know when things are true?"
Oh wow, my 5 year old daughter is getting into some pretty deep questions for a 5 year old.
I said, "You pray and listen to the Holy Ghost to know if things are true. And you get a good feeling inside, and you remember that feeling forever."
I tried to make it as simple as I possible so she could understand it.
She seemed satisfied with my answer and went back to coloring.
(I now know that our Family Home Evening will be on testimonies tonight.)

As I sat there thinking about the questions June asked me, I started to ponder on my own testimony. A young woman got up and bore her testimony on being kind. She said that she has had a boy in school that has always criticized her and her friends for being LDS. She wanted to know how to be strong when he came against them in school. She said she had always struggled with reading her scriptures every day and that she had now started. She read them everyday and was saying her prayers every morning and night. She bore testimony of how her heart has changed with her feelings towards that boy and how she has felt the spirit more in her life. It was a beautiful testimony.

An older woman in the ward stood up in Relief Society and bore her testimony. She started by saying, "They say, if you don't share your testimony you will lose it, and I don't want to lose it, it's one of my greatest treasures."

That really struck me. I need to share my testimony more with others so I won't lose it. I know that my testimony is strengthened when I hear others bear witness of things I also know to be true. I feel like they are building me up for another month. I need to be a builder who build's others' testimonies as well.

I came home with a wonderful spirit and a feeling of strength. I kept thinking about the importance of the scriptures in my life and how they have blessed me. You can't have a testimony of the scriptures by not reading them. You have to read them, pray about the things you read, and think about them constantly. I think that's why I love to print off scriptures and have them around my home. I feel a constant strength when I read certain scriptures over and over again. I love the Bible and I love the Book of Mormon. They work hand in hand with each other. They both witness and testify of our Savior Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for the commandments in my life. They give me guidelines to stand by and keep me safe from harm. Many may think that commandments keep you from having "fun," but in reality, they are there to keep us safe. If you know the commandments and know the suffering that comes from breaking them, you will see them as a protection as well. Not only are you accountable for your actions today with the law but you are accountable to a higher law. Someone is always watching you, ALWAYS. The commandments and covenants we make with our Father in Heaven keeps us accountable for our actions. If we aren't accountable for the mistakes we make then we are digressing in our path to eternal life. I am truly thankful for the gospel in my life and for the guidance and direction it gives me to constantly better myself everyday.

If you want more information of amazing testimonies here is a link to talks, scriptures, videos and music that can help EVERYONE!
www.lds.org

(My all time favorite scripture that I keep framed in my home.)